A few weeks ago, I wrote a Note on The Beauty of Appreciation. In that note, I told you about the birth of my son, and the complications that followed. How I was diagnosed with MS, and how I overcame one of the biggest obstacles in my life. There were many details that I did not share, however, and I would like to share those with you right now.
If you read the Note on the Beauty of Appreciation, you’ll be up to speed on this Note. Here we go:
On May 11, 2008, I was scheduled to be induced. My son was 3 weeks premature but we were having complications and he needed to be delivered. It turned out that I was allergic to the medication that I was given to induce the labour, which caused my body to go into shock, and my baby’s heartbeat to plummet. I was rushed in to an emergency C-Section, which we knew would be bad because I am allergic to anaesthetic. The doctors assured me that I would not react poorly to the “cocktail” that they had created for me.
My beautiful son was born, and was so content to just look around. He smiled and wiggled as he was examined, and wrapped up. He was given to my husband, who brought him over to me so I could give him a kiss. They left the room, and the doctors kept working on me. I felt myself slipping away, slowly losing consciousness. I experienced the most extreme internal battle of my life in that moment: “Should I fight harder, and stay for my kids, or should I go? My baby is safe, my children are safe, and they will be well taken care of. I have fulfilled my purpose here. I brought my children into this world, they will do great things…“ That was the last thought that entered my mind. Then there was just peace.
I was resuscitated less than two minutes later. The doctors laughed and said “We lost you for a minute there”. The cause of the “complication” was “Massive internal haemorrhaging”. In the intensive care, I died again, this time it was from “complications” from the surgery. It was May 14th, my Mother’s birthday. I called her in the morning and sang her Happy Birthday. She knew something was wrong, even though I didn’t say it. Call it “Mothers intuition”. She had been caring for my older children at my house, which was 45 minutes away from the hospital. She called my husband and told him to get home, because she was going to the hospital. She arrived minutes before I died.
I learned in that short visit that doctors are there to serve YOU! Not the other way around. When you are in the hospital, Ask for what you need. Otherwise, you could have “Complications”….
When I got home, my body had shut down. I could not walk, I could not speak, I could not comprehend. I’ve always tried my best not to complain, no matter how bad a situation is, so I fought through my daily schedule, with three kids, a husband, 2 dogs, a cat, and a home to care for. Over time, it got a little better but it wasn’t returning to where it was pre-surgery. So I went to see my doctor. At the end of our appointment he told me he thought I had multiple sclerosis, and that he wanted me to see a specialist. He warned me that MS is very debilitating, and I may be in a wheelchair within the year.
I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to be told what to do… I went home and researched MS. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t even know what it was. I had heard of it but I didn’t know the effects, or the treatment. I researched for 3 months. At the end of those 3 months, I knew more about MS than most specialists. I knew the treatments like the back of my hand; I knew the stages, the types, the symptoms, the technical terms, etc. I was scared out of my mind, but I Refused to be knocked down.
I went to see the specialist in December of 08, and she said “These are your three options for Disease Modifying Drugs….” To which I replied “Well that one ruins your liver, and eventually stops working… and that one breaks down the muscle over time and leaves craters in the body… and that one only works in 33% of people, 33% of the time, and eventually stops working all together… Not to mention that All of these cost $1,300 + A Month!!… But I’ve found a drug that works in 98% of people, 90% of the time, with No side effects after the first 3 days. It never stops working, and it only costs $30 a month. I would like to try it for the next year. If it doesn’t work, I will try your drugs, if it does work, I will stay on it for life. Does that work for you?”. She smiled at me and said “I’m so glad you’ve found it, I’m not allowed to advertise it because it’s an off label use (a drug made for one treatment but used for another).”
I have been on this drug since September of last year. I haven’t had a relapse since then. I tried, and researched everything from vegetarian diets, no fat diets, bee venom therapy, coconut butter, vitamins and minerals, etc. But the two that have Worked (and I mean Worked!!) are this drug, and exercising.
While I was researching, I began exercising. I started off small because I could hardly function. I worked my way up to running. In September of ’08, my doctor told me I could potentially be in a wheel chair within the year. By September of ’09, I was running 5 km a day. I’m not going to pretend that was easy, because it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. There were days that my knees were buckling and I was crying as I was running on that treadmill (thank goodness for safety cords!), but I did it. Every time I wanted to give up I would say to myself “This is not the hardest thing I’ve ever done”.
I did not choose to be diagnosed with MS, but I’m “running” with it, so to speak. I’ve made the best of a bad situation. I’m not going to sit here and let something ruin my life when I have so much more life to live. For a few days, I was really upset about the whole situation, then I realized that there is nothing I can do about Having the disease, but there is something I can do about Controlling it. At my most recent MRI (where they take detailed images of the brain and spinal cord) they discovered that all my lesions (marks on the brain from MS) are inactive. This means that my MS no longer has any control over my life…. I won.
Lindsey Andersen,
Personal Empowerment Coach and Master Spirit Life Coach
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